your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize