he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
