therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize