WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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