garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Randomize
