I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
