Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
