it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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