I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
BRING THE BAGELS
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
