The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
