i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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