He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
