Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Drake has all the answers
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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