By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
