sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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