as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
FUCK WHALES
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
