Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
