gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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