His pubic hair was longer than his dick
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
