bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
