I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
