I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
