nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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