We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
