i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
