nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
