So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
