I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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