She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
