Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
