Please, let me fuck your mom
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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