apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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