My nipple is on Facebook.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
