I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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