I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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