I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
i think im in europe. pls send help
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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