I can't watch pbs sober anymore
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
