woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
