I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize