i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
