seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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