You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
