Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Brb crying the tears of my youth
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize