dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
