Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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