Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
