Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
