you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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