R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
