I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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