i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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