So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
