omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
He has the fingertips of a God
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
