is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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