Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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