A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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